I was. 
I was looking to you to save me. 
Surrounded by grief for a year, 
everyone elses and my own, 
you were a breath of fucking fresh air. 
You made me feel alive again. 
You reminded me who I was. 
Reflected things back to me that 
I never thought I would see again, 
never thought I would feel again. 
And then you disappeared. 
And I want to say I disappeared first
but the fact is I’m still here. 
Very much still fucking here 
hoping for any flashes of what I 
started to believe in when I, 
yes, very much so, fell in love with you.